"So what are you going to do when you get back to the Philippines?" My friends bombarded me with this question after I prayerfully decided to take a leave off from my school in Seoul, Korea. I did not decide to stop out in a flash. It took me weeks to finally arrive on it despite of the fears I had. I knew it was the best decision I made at a time when I needed to choose between my studies and my health.
"Well," I said, "I'd be needing to take a much deserved rest for a couple of months, ease my mind and body and think of nothing but happy thoughts and relieve myself from stress that has already taken its toll on my physical and mental health." And if and when I'm a lot better already, I wish to teach in a (secular) university to challenge and inspire young people, the way I know best."
A week ago, I was reminded by a friend that God had answered my prayer. A few months have passed and now, I am in the final stretch of the first semester, encoding my students' grades and signing their clearances. Time flies so fast. And now here I am confiding to you all about how it all went.
Well. Let me first say that I got to experience what we call as "reverse culture shock." "The students' culture these days is a lot different from when I was still on their shoes. I could not understand how in the world some of them could have the nerves of plugging their earphones while their professors are having their lectures or while they are taking their exams. I think I've politely scolded a couple of students in my class for doing such. I DEEM IT DISRESPECTFUL (I think nobody would argue with me on this one).
I taught in two colleges in this local university last semester and it was enjoyable, frustrating, and challenging at the same time. As a first time professor, I was somehow hopeful that my students would be eager to listen to their lessons, as I explained them exhaustively. Yet, the opposite happened. I needed to somehow know where they are coming from so I could speak their language and help them understand what I was articulating in front of them. It was crazy at first.
There was a time when I was teaching English Grammar and we happened to discuss consonants and vowels in passing. The student I asked was looking confused and immediately looked at the notes I gave them. I asked him again to give me examples of vowel letters but he could not. I got frustrated. Should I blame him? Should I blame his high school teachers? or should I blame the Philippine education system for producing high school graduates who could not even answer a very elementary question? Still and all, blaming, I know, would not do anything anymore. I needed to work double time to re-educate them of what they have "forgotten."
Then, I remember why I was there for- to teach, challenge, and inspire the youngsters of today and help them to dream big, dream bigger and to help them tap their potentials and fulfill their dreams. I reminded myself daily of this truth about my calling to teach.
Noise.Noise.And.More.Noise. I bought a lapel microphone to make sure that I was able to get my message across since the noise outside the classroom was actually eclipsing my voice that I could not even hear myself anymore a lot of times. The classrooms were not conducive for learning. I salute my fellow professors who actually teach and sometimes shout to get their voice heard. Everytime I would teach my classes in that college, I was literally exhausted. And let me say, feeling exhausted is actually an understatement.
I also taught 3rd year students who are going to be (hopefully) educators in the future. A lot of them were okay. However, most of them could not express themselves in English well. I challenged them not to answer in our lingua franca but articulate their thoughts in English. And usually, they will give me silence,silence and more......silence. It was tough at the outset. One of my students said that they were not used to conveying their thoughts as fast as they could since some (if not most) of their teachers allow them to speak in Tagalog even when it should be in English. Really???
Before I forget, I taught Humanities to my 3rd year students. It was an
arduous task since the subject matter does not only talk about "arts" per se but man being cultured and refined in the meditation of the arts, him, being the center and the manking
in the study of Humanities. THE COURSE WAS NOT MY FORTE, but somehow my
background helped me in passing on the truths of the subject matter,
since arts and religion are intertwined in the history of humanities. I
learned while I was teaching. And hopefully, I did well on it.
As I said, I was shocked at the culture of students (or at least, our students) these days. I am not entirely sure if they know what they want or how to get what they want; or if they really like what they are doing or if they still got the passion to do what they thought they want to do. I WAS CLUELESS.
But then again, I was there to inspire them. I need to rekindle the passion that had them study in the first place. I had to talk with my students and see where they are coming from. I would never forget the time when in our discussion, a couple of my students cried while discussing something in class which happened to touch on their personal lives. Somehow, being a Youth Pastor before helped me analyze and see what is going on with their lives and in my own little ways, uplift their weary and tired spirits.
The moment I first stepped in my students' classrooms, I indubitably told them that I was there not only to teach but also to inspire them. I told them that there is something bigger waiting for them in the outside world; that they should not stop dreaming, studying and knowing more, since, that will be their ticket to success. I know it is not going to be easy. I've felt a lot of times that many of my students have already given up even before they give a shot at fulfilling their dreams. I want to help them get past their fears and do well. I want them to find a better life for themselves under the sun. There are lot more things that I want to help them see and do, yet, I am only me.
Whenever I travel going to the university, I talk to God and tell him to use me as a channel of his blessing, his grace, and his love daily. I know how it feels to struggle as a student. I've lived decades of my life burning my midnight oil for the sake of my future and even left my family to live on foreign soil to fulfill my God-given dreams.
I know how it felt to be abased and not have anything in my pocket when I go to school, take my exam with an empty stomach, and memorize theorems and subjects when my head is filled with countless troubles enough to frustrate and appall my debilitated self.
Modesty aside, I can say that I finished well (at least in my journey as a student). I did persevere and I just pray that, everyday will be a day for me to inspire them. Just when nobody wants to smile at them, I will do it to lift them up. When nobody wants to listen, I'll be a friend to them, lending my time and ears, hear their cries and pray for them. And as I do, I'll look up to the One who taught me how to teach, and in the heavens find my joy in serving the youngsters whom I hope will act as catalysts of change in the present and in the future.
IS EVERYTHING WORTH MY JOURNEY?
I guess when I find my students see the light, behold true happiness in what they do, discover their place under the sun, and live their life in faith, will I be able to ascertain in myself that it's worth every second of it. But for now, I will endeavor to be a good mentor, an inspiring educator, letting the light of my Master Teacher shine for all my students to see.
Until then.....until then....
Limang buwan ng pagtitiyaga ang iginugol ninyo sa ating klase. Sa mga panahong iyon, pinilit ko kayong gisingin sa katotohanan ng inyong pag-aaral. Sinubukan kong hasain ang inyong pag-iisip at ninais kong bigyan ng ningas at makatulong sa paghubog ng mga nananamlay ninyong perspektibo sa buhay.
May mga pagkakataong batid kong halos maihi kayo sa takot sa mga tanong na aking ibinabato sa klase. Na kung maari lamang ay hindi ko mabunot ang inyong "class card" o hindi ko kayo mapansin sa pagnanais na takasan ang aking mga "nanganganak na tanong." Sa kabila noon, natutuwa akong mabatid na ang lahat ng iyon ay nagtulak sa inyo upang hindi umasa sa inyong mga kamag-aral kung hindi ay gumawa ng paraaan para sa inyong sariling kaligtasan sa ating klase. 
Paumanhin sa mga pagkakataong inuga ko ang inyong pananampalataya at paniniwala. Hindi ko nais na mawalan kayo ng pag-asa sa Lumikha. Ang nais ko lamang ay makita na anuman ang sabihin ng iba, panghahawakan ninyo ng lubos ang katotohanan ng Ama sa langit. At inuulit ko, lubos ang aking paniniwala sa Maylalang ng langit at lupa- ang pag-asang nagdulot sa akin ng kasiyahan at pagnanais na makatulong sa mga kabataang tulad ninyo- ang Diyos na nagbibigay ng pag-asa sa aking buhay at pagkatao.
